All about Kazuya's emotional dishonesty - On "The Girlfriend and the Move" (Rent-A-Girlfriend Chs. 249-255)

Greetings, friends. The Lungfish Diaries has been on a bit of haitus due to vacations and various other things, but I’m happy to be back to talk about Rent-A-Giflriend’s latest concluded arc.

What may surprise people in this arc is just how much of an obstacle Kazuya’s emotional dishonesty with Chizuru is. It’s well established how dishonest Chizuru is—including some prime examples this arc—but Kazuya’s reluctance to be open and honest about his feelings is part of what keeps them from moving forward, and it’s his one moment of true honestly—given while too passed out to be aware of his words—that convinces Chizuru to move forward. Let’s take a look.

To some, Chizuru acting like Kazuya might not take her up on her offer may come as strange, but indeed, from Chizuru’s perspective, it may seem a real possibility. (255)

Kazuya has long kept his fullest, truest feelings under wraps

Kazuya has held back from Chizuru for a long time. He famously denied being in love with her when she directly asked him after Christmas (32) and quickly took back his abrupt confession after Mami confronted Chizuru (50). More broadly, the situation as Kazuya promises to help Chizuru pursue her dreams is an uncomfortable one: arguably, Chizuru is aware after 49 that Kazuya has deeper feelings for her but will only show it through promises and actions instead of affirming them in words. This is a common point of friction with them when it seemed like they would part: three times it seemed their relationship would end, and three times Kazuya insisted she’d done more than enough, that he would be happy for her, and so on.

Even Kazuya’s recent confessions have not been the full-throated admissions that would truly move someone. His performance at Hawaiians was generic, put on for his audience. Even when asking her if the kiss really meant nothing more, he affirms his confession and then immediately moves to end the conversation (238), and while he did tell her he would wait ten years or even twenty for an answer, that’s as far as he’s really gone. Even in these last two scenes, Kazuya is far from the guy we know he is inside, who would want to hug her and never let go. Kazuya famously refused to do anything other than let her lean against him when she wept after Sayuri died. In large part, even when Kazuya acknowledges his feelings for her, Kazuya shows tremendous reluctance to ask for more than the bare minimum (and sometimes, not even that).

Kazuya’s dishonesty sours Chizuru

Kazuya’s refusal to engage leaves them no room to commiserate together and connect. (253)

At the pub, it takes Mini to prod Kazuya into talking about how put off he is that Chizuru seems unconcerned about their impeding separation, and Kazuya tries to shut that protest. Chizuru responds unusually forcefully, saying she doesn’t want him to keep something from her and won’t accept him doing so for her sake.

But Kazuya doesn’t learn from this. Even when given the chance to ask his question and follow it up with something more, a chance to talk about their future, he cowardly backs down, unwilling to press the issue about what Chizuru’s admission means for her feelings or to suggest they take action, even though he desperately wants to. Again, Mini pushes the issue, suggesting they move in together, and Kazuya panics, trying to shut Mini up.

Then, look at Chizuru: look at how she deliberately collects herself before responding. Kazuya put her on the spot here; he shut down the idea that may well have crossed her mind and may have entertained, but his bad reaction gave Chizuru no room to agree with the idea, and their night drinking draws to a close with Chizuru’s walls completely up.

It isn’t until after he’s passed out that Chizuru lets her guard down again. Kiss him? Maybe that would do something, but then Kazuya lets the truth out unwittingly: he loves her. He loves her so much! This is the first truly honest thing Kazuya has said to her all night, and even after, she doesn’t seem poised to try to kiss him any longer. She doesn’t need to; she got what she needed to probe her feelings more deeply.

To be fair, Chizuru is deeply dishonest, too, but she historically pushed the issue when Kazuya wouldn’t

Chizuru feels unable to reach out. (250)

Look back at how Chizuru started to cry over being all alone in that house, having a meal by herself, surrounded by memories of the past. She immediately looks to her phone, to Kazuya’s name in her Line contacts, but it takes prodding from Mini for her to get out of the house, and boy does she get dressed to the nines for it. Even then, she comes with money so as to come with a clean conscience about having him help out at the house. Chizuru constantly feels bad for “imposing” on Kazuya—for relying on him without feeling as though she returns his feelings enough—and so she does things like offer money—not the first time! (171)—to try to make it even in her mind, without admitting that’s the case. She did, however, tell the truth to Mini that she feels bad about the whole thing. Even so, Chizuru leaves the choice of whether to stay to him and imposes all these rules and restrictions to justify her actions.

That’s a pretty established pattern of Chizuru’s by this point, but if we look back, all the way to Chizuru inviting Kazuya to the batting cage, we see that Chizuru has often been the one to allow them to get closer, to spend time together and to build their relationship, when Kazuya would not ask for anything, too paralyzed by the thought she would be disgusted and cut him off. How far is one expected to put oneself out there when one is already opening the door?

Eventually, one of them has to say they don’t want to go. Eventually.

Unless Saiful stays in Japan forever, eventually Kazuya will be expected to go back to his parents until he finds a new place. That sets up a time limit that Kazuya and Chizuru have to figure things out and get together in the long term… or at least prolong their stay. Somebody will have to say that they want things to stay that way. Will more excuses about practicality and generosity cover it? Maybe. One should never underestimate Miyajima. But looking at how Kazuya’s moment of honesty (intentional or otherwise) moved Chizuru, and how she asked for his honesty here and how she responded by putting her guard back up when he refused to be honest, I think this is the issue that will be the key for them to finally get together in earnest. Kazuya will have to say that he wants to stay with her, or Chizuru will have to say he doesn’t want him to leave.

But what hijinx await us until then? Only time will tell.