“The Girlfriend and the Birthday II” is a story of Chizuru’s self-imposed expectations for returning Kazuya’s feeling—both admitting them and letting go of them, at least a little bit. Chizuru approaches her relationship with Kazuya with a fundamental misconception: that she must sacrifice more, and be better, in order to prove to herself she loves him enough to stand beside him. Though that mindset is quite similar to Kazuya’s sense of inadequacy, it is the opposite of what Kazuya wants from her: to feel included in her life, to be someone she wouldn’t choose to be without. Through Mini and Sumi’s guidance, Chizuru comes to understand that she can and should accept Kazuya’s generosity to reciprocate his affection—that she can and should be a little more selfish, and that doing so doesn’t make her unworthy of love.
Chizuru puts aside her reticence to accept affection. (271)
Chizuru has always felt unworthy of Kazuya’s love
Chizuru has a long history of talking and acting like she is unsuited to be Kazuya’s girlfriend. Chizuru often insisted that Kazuya wouldn’t be stupid enough to fall in love with a rental girlfriend, which can be superficially interpreted as meaning she would never be interested, but it can also mean that she would never be able to be a real girlfriend for him, as much as she might want to be. She nearly said as much on their lunch date, having backed away from asking if he had feelings for her, instead trying to futiely reestablish the line between them: someday he would find a “wonderful girlfriend,” or she would “never forgive” him. She wants to be his girlfriend, but she worries she cannot be wonderful enough. She would later say that Ruka’s behavior at Hawaiians proved Ruka “really loves” him, with the implication that Chizuru’s feelings could not measure up to that and that Chizuru envied Ruka for feeling so strongly and clearly about him.
“The most wonderful girlfriend.” As much as she wants to be that, she doubts she can. (174)
Chizuru also felt compelled often to try to try to repay Kazuya’s generosity or encourage him to spend less on her. She actively moved to stop him from paying for their drinks after he proposed the movie crowdfunding campaign. When the director told her of the lengths Kazuya went to in order to secure the film club’s cooperation, Chizuru wasn’t happy; it made her more determined (117) to “give it her all” the next time. She offered to pay back some of the money he spent on the cheer-up date, and she allows him to live rent-free in her house. Even when he only promised to hire her regularly to help with her finances, she tried to talk him out of it, saying he didn’t need to go that far and that it could be unhealthy.
Some may suggest that Chizuru is still money-minded at heart, but she has only resisted being more generous toward him when it would implicate her feelings. When she said she would stay by him as long as he needed her, he asked for a discount, and she declined. Infamously, she did offer him a discount at Hawaiians, but to go for free would’ve been tantamount to accepting his feelings, which she was not prepared to do.
A chance to see it as not generosity but companionship
Chizuru’s key change of heart is seeing Kazuya, Mini, and Sumi’s gestures as not acts of mere generosity but genuine care and a desire to share something with her. Mini outright says as much, and it is implied that Chizuru sees Kazuya’s actions in the same light. The arc ends with Chizuru at last deciding to accept something as a token of not just kindness but affection.
We enter “Birthday II,” in which Chizuru repeatedly refuses a birthday party or the idea of receiving gifts in order to be a more worthy woman. Chizuru put those feelings into words thanks to Sumi’s prodding. “If I can’t give them everything I have, it’s not true love after all…?” Chizuru herself sets a very high bar for her feelings toward Kazuya. She must sacrifice more in order to deserve him, so what does she say and do? She says she doesn’t need a party; in her mind it would be inconvenient for him. She doesn’t need gifts; she knows he is broke. She will be home late, so he doesn’t need to stay up; that would only force him to wait for her. His generosity would only make her feel more undeserving of his love, and when he goes a little out of his way to do the dishes she would normally take care of, she chides him for it and immediately tries to repay him by taking care of his hurt finger. Nevertheless, she says she appreciates his gesture; she isn’t giving all that up because she wants to be apart from him.
Her colleagues’ birthday party for her hits home that Chizuru did want a party or some closeness somehow and instead is left disconnected. They don’t even put her name on the cake, which is chosen for someone else’s tastes, and everyone has fun taking pictures of the event without truly involving her at all. She doesn’t even share their interests or attitudes; they are not at all on the same wavelength. She comes home jaded to the point that she brings it up to Mini, who says, no, this is a real party we’re throwing for you; it’s not about us. We treasure you and treasure being part of your life.
(Not) being a meaningful part of Chizuru’s life was what bugged Kazuya throughout this arc. He felt down about her refusal to have a party or accept gifts, despite Mini’s insistence that she would appreciate something anyway. At the play, he felt more disconnected from her than ever and finally realized that he felt like she didn’t treasure spending time with him to the point she didn’t care about any party. It was this fundamental misunderstanding between them that caused much of Kazuya’s anxiety and tension.
But Chizuru lets go of her worries, at least for that night. She enjoys herself at the party. She lets herself ask if he enjoyed the play, if she is really good enough in his eyes… in a small way (and she was), and though she is reluctant to let his praises go to her head, she is still genuinely happy about it. Rarely do we see Chizuru with a gentle smile like the one she has at the sink that night. Its rarity is proof of how unguarded she is in this moment. And when Kazuya offers her “anything she wants” for as much as she wants, her first reaction is to reject it; she doesn’t need that much, and she doesn’t want to be showered in generosity, but she ultimately takes one, and just one. She accepts his gift, accepts that he treasures her and that she can be a little selfish, and be happy, without making herself unworthy. He sees her as plenty worthy, after all.
Miyajima gives up too much week-to-week entertainment for his long arcs with small shifts
Rent-A-Girlfriend is a remarkably inconsistent manga in terms of how it tries to appeal to the audience week after week. The only constant is that Kazuya will overthink and overreact—sometimes hilariously so, sometimes pathetically so. But in any given chapter, Miyajima can present soapy drama with Mami and Ruka, a tentative romance with Chizuru, a touching friendship with Sumi, or a comedy of errors and hijinx layered on any of the above.
“Birthday II” is mainly a serious arc, overtly focused on Kazuya’s stress over Chizuru’s unwillingness to have a birthday party or accept gifts and what that means for whether she really wants him as part of her life, yet the payoff is on all Chizuru’s side. She is the one who experiences a change of heart, who opens up a little further to the notion of accepting Kazuya as a part of her life she doesn’t need to earn. That is an important shift, but Kazuya hardly gets to enjoy it. Even at the end he questions whether he has witnessed sincerity on her part, if his “anything I want ticket” has lived up to her expectations.
This is a consistent pattern on Miyajima’s part—for Kazuya to stare blindly at Chizuru accepting him and growing closer to him… and for him to doubt what’s happening right before his eyes. He became paralyzed with doubt after Chizuru stopped texting him (even if that was played for laughs). He never got to see that Chizuru really appreciated how he supported her and encouraged her to weep if she needed to. Even when Kazuya is supposed to be rewarded, he seldom gets to truly enjoy it, and the whole “Living Together” arc consisted of Kazuya getting a lot of small moments of closeness… which he often believed were too good to be true.
Kazuya is a bundle of anxiety, and that anxiety can be funny and absurd (cf. “…and the Cat” or “…and the Bra” for recent examples), but in this arc, all of Kazuya’s anxiety and worry is not relieved, and it’s not funny in the moment, either. How are we supposed to enjoy that side of things? Ten chapters is a long time to have pretty much one joke a chapter about smushed cake or sweaters going cat-eyed in sync with Chizuru.
Mini and Sumi are Miyajima’s mouthpieces and stagehands
Please, Mini: tell us more about what Kazuya thinks, so he can’t get the satisfaction of the reward first-hand. (269)
Mini was blatantly used multiple times in this arc to deliver messages to Kazuya and Chizuru that they needed to hear. Mini insisted to Kazuya that Chizuru would welcome some kind of gesture for her birthday (a message he bizarrely didn’t heed). Later, in one of the most on-the-nose segments of the arc, as Chizuru pondered whether they should make a social media display of her birthday bitterly, Mini insisted they were there for her and that Kazuya must’ve felt the same way. Miyajima throws out all semblance of subtlety in this segment and also deprives Kazuya of the chance to assert and defend his feelings in the process, leading to a very one-sided resolution of this arc. By having Mini deliver this message, Miyajima accomplishes one major goal: preventing Kazuya and Chizuru from mutually realizing the state of their feelings for each other too fast.
Similarly, Sumi’s abrupt return, having not been seen in contact with Chizuru at all in over a hundred chapters, is another device meant to lay out Chizuru’s inner conflict and sense of inadequacy for the readers. Kazuya doesn’t even have to choose to hold a party against Chizuru’s expressed wishes; the opportunity falls in his lap without him having to do anything! Why should Sumi be concerned if Chizuru has someone there for her? Kazuya is right there! But she asks the right question needed for Chizuru to explain herself. How convenient, and she gets the answer that Kazuya would so dearly want, too.
Many threads remain undone
Mami made her reappearance early in this arc and appears primed to make a sincere run at Kazuya’s heart for what could be the last time. We seem at last to have returned to the plotline Miyajima may have intended early on, when Mami moped in a very similar way about Kazuya after he chose to save Chizuru at the beach.
Ruka is still in play as well. Finding out that Kazuya has been staying at Chizuru’s will surely set her off.
And, of course, Chizuru faced a serious question of her own this arc: is she inadequate to be Kazuya’s girlfriend, to love him enough? This arc showed her that she doesn’t need to be so concerned with this question, but what what will be enough for her to let go of her own high expectations? Hopefully Miyajima will not need Sumi to ask that very question going forward.
Comments
Post a Comment